The Thinking Conversation Phone Call Chair!

I got this chair from The Board Of Directors at Okanogan Behavioral HealthCare when I left in 2005! I've spent alot of hours sitting in it, after a long day, a short day, a happy day, a sad day, I've said Hellos I've said Goodbyes, Cried & Laughed in this chair! It holds a ton of secrets! I LOVE THIS CHAIR! Tonight I was sitting in this chair crying & Hunter said What's wrong Mommy & I said Im just missing Great Gram right now, & Hayden says She was Grammie's Mom & I said Yep She was Buddy~!

The last 25 days have been hard, September 5 I got the text msg I wish w/ everything inside Me I would have never gotten, My Mom told Me it was the end for my Grandma, they were transporting Her to Wenatchee to make Her comfortable until She passed away, so I raced down to the Hospital & I held my Gram's hand until She opened Her eyes, She said don't cry Honey, I want you to take care of my Kids, I told Her I would and then I called Ed and I told Him to bring the Kids down to say Goodbye, She knew each of them by name and they got Kisses and Hugs for the last time.

We brought Her Home from Wenatchee in an ambulance that Thursday and put Her in a Hospital bed in the living room of their house, She recognized Me and could still talk a little, but that wasn't meant to last, by Friday She was getting weak and awake less and less, I kept the Kids out of school that Fri so they could go down in the morning and see Her one last time. I was bouncing between the Kids, The Home Ec Bldg at the Fair and spending any spare minute I could with Gram. Friday night in the middle of the night something woke me up & I knew I needed to go get in bed with Gram in the morning & tell Her it was ok to let go cause I had it all under control. Grandad had given me a box of peaches so I got up early oh who am I kidding I didn't sleep much that night & I made 2 peach cobblers I didn't have time to make one but I didn't have time to not make them, I had to be at the fair by 9 but I had to be in bed with Gram, so I dropped my Boys off at the fair, I didn't want them at Grams I knew we were getting close to the end, when I got there Grandad was sitting next to Grams bed holding Her hand it literally took my breath away watchin one of the strongest men I know watch one of the strongest women I know pass on, I hugged my Grandad and sat close to Him wiping His tears, then I took off my shoes & I crawled into bed w/ Gram, I stroked Her hair, & Her cheeks, I couldn't say what I had to say right away cause I really didn't want to say it, I wanted to Kiss Her & make Her all better like the many times She had done for Us, I didn't want to be hurting like I was, but eventually I whispered into Her ear Gram I Love You, I Love You Forever and I got this, you don't need to suffer anymore you can let go, I Love You, I repeated it a couple of times, then I just laid there stroking Her hair & Her face memorizing every inch of Her face and stroking Her hands, they were so warm and so frail. Then I got up & walked away one last time, I knew in my heart She would be gone before I got back that night, & within an hour and a half She was gone, gone forever, my phone lit up & it was Mom letting Me know She was gone.......................the next 7hrs were tough, now that I look back the last 25 days have been tough, I'm still sad, still struggling with it all. I didn't know just how tough it was gonna be.

I am so very blessed and glad that my Dad told my Grandparents when they sold their place in Brewster that they could move in next to them, my Kids got the most awesome gift of spending so much time with their Great Grandparents right next door to their Grandparents. It wasn't always easy but it was worth it!

The Tuesday after Gram passed away I took the Boys to school & Hallee to my Moms, when we pulled in, She said Let's Go See Great Grammie! She's so young that She didn't understand that Gram was gone forever.

At that point I was ready to pack it in myself, I was ready to go with Gram, I didn't wanna keep going, I didn't wanna make funeral plans, I didn't wanna see my Grandad sad or my Mom. Please God take Me too! But that isn't how it works, we gotta pick up and keep going despite.

My Mom wanted White Doves for Us to release at My Gram's Funeral & I decided I would stop at nothing to get them, I did manage to track down some & as planned 2 Pairs arrived for Gram's Services, As Edna Mae Hinger sang On The Wings Of A Dove, my Grandad got up & opened the basket and released them, it was the most awesome thing I had ever seen, very moving~!

"When you're weak I'll be strong when you let go I'll hold on and when you need to cry I swear that I'll be there to dry your eyes when you feel lost and scared to death like you can't take one more step just take my hand together we can do it, I'm gonna love you through it."

My Pa had surgery September 22 to repair the damage and years of hard work in His neck, He regained some strength in the one arm that has been slightly paralyzed, He hasn't quite regained the mobilization yet but we are hopeful! He is sorta kinda bionic now, today October 5 He had the stitches removed and all went well, He will be back in action like a champ in no time.

Nadia blew out Her knee recently and tomorrow She is having an MRI that is going to predict Her short term future and since it will be my Birthday we are only accepting Good News ONLY, I mean only :) Like everything, we will face it head on & prevail! We Love You Nadia Chilmonik!

All will be right with the world again soon~!

Father's Day

Father's Day weekend is always significant for me, this Father's Day Sunday is 6 years since the day I came home from Sacred Heart after my Stroke & walked up the side walk of My Parent's House to Hug my Family, walked being the key word, & Family being the next. The Saturday before I came home the Neurotherapist was there at the Hospital with me giving me my last therapy session, and after we were done, I was back in my bed surrounded by Mom, Sis & Hayden he was only 3 months old. Ed & Hunter had gone back to Omak several days earlier. My therapist looked at me and said you realize their are no neurotherapists in your area and of course I hadn't realized because I had never needed one but it didn't surprise me. But she said I can see that you will do everything that I tell you to do and I said to her "You tell me everything I gotta do to get back out there, I have two Boys to take care of" Thus the reason I am where I am today, I didn't let it slow me down or get me down.

My Dad has done so much for us, he has been the most awesome example that anyone could ask for, he hasn't always been perfect but that's what makes him an even better example for Me & for my Kids. That is probably where I get my drive from, we don't let anything stop us, there are a few things that may slow us down for a while but we keep going, keep working hard! We aren't invincable or untouchable we just keep on keeping on.

My Dad has had some mild paralyzation in one of his arms, so My Sis finally convinced him to see Dr. Long yesterday, Thankfully he did, Dr. Long sent him for an MRI, it was conducted yesterday afternoon and after review it is very clear that Dad has some MAJOR stuff going on in his neck for lack of the technical terms for it, we are considering this bad news actually good news because it came before he was completely paralyzed. He is on restriction at the moment, no shoveling, no neck twisting, no jumping off of anything no and no and no, can we tell him only to move his eyeballs, I doubt he would listen to that, this morning he asked me "What am I supposed to do" dead silence as I choked back a tear, I been there, it took all I could to make light of it all, we joked a little bit, talked about this being "Our Week" forever in our history. I couldn't help but laugh when he said if I have surgery on Friday I should be able to work on Monday, I just had to say Monday shit, you should be able to work on Sunday, the one thing about my Family we understand the seriousness of certain things but we try to always see the positives.

We play hard, fall hard and keep going, as my Dad has always said, "I ain't getting out of here alive"

I Love You Dad! Happy Father's Day!

Between Kids, Sports, House, Work I'm ridiculously slacking on my Blog, no excuses, must just get with it and write more often!

Last time I posted we were getting ready for my Grandparents 65th Wedding Anniversary Party, it turned out fabulous, we couldn't have asked for things to go more smoothly. The Dinner was great, cake was awesome, my Grandparents LOVED it~!

We survived Soccer Season, I Coached Hunter & Hayden's teams along with the help of several of My Awesome Parents from the teams, it takes a village :)

Hunter thinks he wants to play Football now, so he just did a week long Football camp & he loved it, I Love Football, Huge Football fan, but it's not a sport I really want my Sons playing (wouldn't discourage him ever) so if he still wants to in the Fall, we will let him sign up. Hayden wants to go back to Baseball in the Spring. Gotta let them try things until they find what they enjoy doing!

Hallee wants to type a while!

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Camping Memorial Wkend was fun being with some of our Friends, I think that is the only reason to go camping. It Rained, Snowed, Hailed, & the Sun Shined. My Kids are turning in to quite the competitive Bow Shooters, Hunter was making some awesome shots. We all came home w/ either an eye allergy or infection, but now two weeks later everyone is feeling better.

I've had the last couple weeks off & haven't accomplished anything except chasing Kids & doing a few things around the house. Helped My Dad & Bro on a job they were on the last couple days by bringing supplies, between that & transporting Kids back & forth to school , there isn't time to fit much else in.

Was texting my Friend Wendy yesterday, it was getting pretty funny which it always does w/ Her & I we have a sick sense of humor both of us, I came up w/ this while I should have been folding laundry, but I was thinking about everyone's drink days they come up with, Blue Moon Monday, Tequila Tuesday, Wine Wednesday, Twisted Tea Thursday, Fire Ball Friday, Strawberry Daiquiri Saturday, Spoody Sunday, TODAY I shall create 7 days of Coffee!

Nadia is Graduating this wkend, busy wkend ahead w/ Ballet, Brunch, Graduation & everything in between. I was going through our pictures looking for all the ones of Nadia so that I could take them to our brunch on Saturday, & it brought a tear to my eye looking at the pictures, remembering the last 17 years WOW, it's amazing what happens just within a years time let alone looking at the past 17 years in pictures. Most times I look at the pics & think back to what we've been through & I think to myself the only thing you can tell people is "You wouldn't believe me if I told you"~! Marriage, Kids, Houses, Sickness, School, Sports, Death, Money, Jobs, Ups & Downs How does one get through it??? Only with lots of ~Laughter~Humor~!

We have a Big Day coming up soon our Lagoon goes before the Judge June 21st, we have lots of players coming in for that night, the Dept. Of Ecology, Health Department, our Engineer, the People who make the liner that we plan to use, Supporters & NonSupporters all will be there, we have met & exceeded all the requirements, so fingers crossed everything goes without a hitch, our County really needs a lagoon. As the day approaches the threatening phone calls are coming, we have 1 Guy who has called a couple times to threaten us, & tell us how we just want to make a bunch of money so we can take it with us when we die & we are completely ruining his lifep, if only I could say what I really wanna say, Hmmm pack a lunch you freakin idiot cause let me tell you how this is gonna go, you threaten the bull you are gonna get the horns, no we aren't trying to make a bunch of money so we can take it with us when we die, cause the bank is gonna take it all before then and oh how do you like shitting in the house, oh you like it real well, hmmmmm do you ever wonder where the shit goes, no you haven't, ya I didn't think so, how bout this I'm done talking to you don't call me again or I'm gonna call the police and file a harrassment suit against you, and by the way cram your complaint of me ruining your entire life up your ass, cause you ain't seen nothing yet F@#*&r! But since there is always that chance that our greatest efforts will not be rewarded, we just sit back, take it and wait, what is meant to be will be~!

Funny Times, so the Army Corp Of Engineers was called in to Conc sometime Tuesday at 7pm they start calling Dad, what kind of equipment do you have, what do you charge per hour, do you wanna work on this job...we have to tell them we will call you back in a few, Dad calls my Bro, what do you think...call the Corp back...Ya we can do it, K, we will call you back.....Dad finally goes to bed we haven't heard back, he is in bed 15 minutes, the phone rings, Yep it's a go we want you to do the job "So you want us to start in the morning?" "Nope Now, Right Now, First Trucks will be here at 1a.m." Seriously! Ok we will be right up, anyone who knows about loading and moving equipment it doesn't just happen like I will be right there :) The trucks finished hauling dirt/rock this morning, they worked round the clock from 1am Wed until 8 Thurs. Morn, & made a beautiful dike, Dad & I were wishing last night that we had counted the number of truck loads that were hauled in, there will be a few days of cleaning up the dike making it look as pretty as you can make a pile of dirt look! I think The City Of Omak/Okanogan need to call the Army Corp of Engineers about their flooding if you want something done & done in a hurry, LOL I'm not sure how it all works but it was crazy. One of the Lead Ladies was a freakin fire cracker, fun to watch her drive back & forth up the hill outta Conc to make phone calls, I'd bet at this point she would agree with me, there shouldn't be any place in the World that you can't get a cell signal!

On a really Happy note, Hayden's last day of school is today Woo Hoo, & Hunter's is tomorrow, I am SOOOOOOOO glad, I Love Summer Vacation, I Love having my Kids w/ Me, Let the Good Times begin, lazy days, time in the Boat at the Lake, Let's MAKE SOME MEMORIES.........LIFE IS GOOD!

~Need To Post More Often~

So many funny things happen at our house & I love it!

Today my Boys aren't feeling so great so they are home! Last Sunday was Hayden's Birthday, we aren't Celebrating with a big party until the end of the month at Chuckie Cheese for a combined Hayden & Hallee Birthday Party, but I told him I would make him whatever kind of cake he wanted and his favorite dinner he chose Cheesecake for his dessert, and Ham for dinner, when I was cooking the ham for dinner he came in the kitchen and sniffed up the smell of yummy ham and said "I'm in Heaven Mommy" the boy loves ham.

Hallee was having some toast a few mornings ago & she brought me her plate with just the crust on it, she said she couldn't eat the crust because it made her sick LOL too funny~!

The long awaited 65th Wedding Anniversary Party is tomorrow, hmmmm it will be interesting to say the least, I'm thinking I should wear a corsage camera lol! The exciting part is I get to see cousins I haven't seen in quite a few years, some as long as 10 years +! My Grandpa & Grandma don't know about the party it is supposed to be a surprise, I have a feeling that they have a slight idea something is going on. I have been struggling to write a blessing for our dinner, hoping it comes to me in the next 24hrs, I'm wanting a mix of slightly comical, w/ a twist of honor & thankfulness Hmmmmm. Can't wait to share pictures after I get back!

As for today, I'm going to sit around & enjoy my kids, sometimes when their just slightly under the weather it's a good time to just snuggle in & enjoy each other!

Peace Out My Friends~!